Normally, I love writing dialogue. That’s one of the reasons I like the script format. Nearly all dialogue, nearly all the time.
So, here I am, 28 pages into my screenplay, and I’m worried about the language my characters are using. I mean, English, obviously. But I’m talking about word choice, sentance structure, tone...
To begin with, I need to avoid sounding modern – I don’t want my medival warriors “downsizing” or “thinking outside the box.” And I want them to discuss themes appropriate to their world – honor and duty and whatnot. All while remaining accessible to the viewer, of course.
But it still not enough.
Personally I blame Joss Whedon.
I want the language of my world to have its own unique tone. Whedon’s shows Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly both presented unreal worlds – a California high school and an outer space frontier, respectively. And each world had its own lingo – new, amusing, engaging, and still fully comprehensible.
Really, this is something I should save for the inevitable re-write, but you know me. I worry.
So, what can I do? Well, here are a few tricks I’m trying:
1. To begin with, I want people to be a little more formal with each other. One thing I’m trying is the occasional use of full names, especially early in the conversation. So my protagonist is often addressed as “Jon Warder” before the more casual “Jon” is used.
2. I’ve decided, after some experimentation, to include contractions. Not using them does sound more formal, but I do not want to completely lose all casual tone.
3. I’m avoiding the informal tense of the English language (i.e., no “thee,” “thou,” or “thine.”). It will just alienate the viewers.
4. I am constantly re-thinking words and phrases. For example, I’ve switched out the word “money” for “coin.” Your money’s no good here becomes something like Keep your coin. Same sentiment, different tone. “Aye” for “yes” is another one.
Results? Still no Whedonesque sparkle. But I’m working on it. Let me leave you with a line from the script...
I seek the house of Stonekind.
And the response...
Do you? Think our royalty are on display then, for any man to gawk and jest?
1 comment:
"That’s one of the reasons I like the script format. Nearly all dialogue, nearly all the time."
Ah, but screenwriter and playwright David Mamet, well known for his clever dialogue, is most often quoted as saying “The perfect movie doesn’t have any dialogue.” Billy Mernit, in Writing the Romantic Comedy, repeatedly says that one of the most important questions a screenwriter can ask is "Can you make your point without words?" Their point, of course, is to emphasize the visual nature of the medium.
Post a Comment